jubileee;

about her;

Sunday, December 13, 2009

she's doing it again, yelling at me for the stupidest reasons. It all started last night, I was at the CFC bramps christmas party. There, there was two rooms, the big one where everyone is, and another where the kids go to when they're bored. If it wasn't obvious, I was in the other room, with all of the other teens that were at the party. In the room, there was a ping-pong table, but it was folded up, creating a private place... and shizz.BLAH. So I was in there with my friend Joel, we were just talking and stuff. Then my mom came looking for me, I saw her and I didn't want her thinking things so I went out, then Joel stood up. She saw then she called me. I walked over, then she's like " why you there? with him? " blah blah blah. I just told her "we were just talking" cause literally thats what we did. JUST TALKED! But with her mother instincts she jumped to conclusions and made me go to the big room. After a couple minutes, I asked her if I could go back, she said "fine, but I see with a boy...."

Then today, I wanted to go to the KFC christmas party. (if your thinking kentucky fried chicken... guess again) But also, there was a surprise party in Kitchener. So I asked if I could go to the KFC party. cause honestly which party would YOU choose

party 1; (surprise party) two hour drive, for a 2 hour party. then another 2 drive home. All you do there is eat, then wait till your parents call you to leave.

party 2; (KFC christmas party) hour drive, FIVE hour party and another 1 (probably less) hour drive home. All you'd do there is eat, dance,play..... never a dull moment. but I wouldn't know... would I?!

???? UGHH. honestly, if you still feel like you'd rather leave me in the middle of the highway. GO AHEAD. It's better then being on a freaking leash! you say I'M the one that puts on an act infront of people, but when we're alone or at home i'm a different person... STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF!! If I'm with someone, your all full of fake smiles and "angelic" voice... caring and shit, when they aren't there, you immediately turn the exact opposite. CRAP! You blame it ALL ON ME! how do you think this fcuking does to me?! HUH?! Don't be fcuking surprised if you see my crying, don't be surprised if I don't talk to you. DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN AN HOUR LATER, YOU EXPECT ME TO ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. don't be surprised if I'm up at 3 in the morning, doing homework or studying or reviewing. IT'S YOUR FAULT I'M WORKING MY ASS OFF TO GET THROUGH MY ACADEMIC COURSES PLUS THE STUPID FRENCH PROGRAM YOU MADE ME CONTINUE! If my 80 percent average isn't good enough for you, THEN LAY OFF MY BACK! it's hard enough concentrating with you yelling in my ear what a bad daughter i am. how lazy I am. okay? I'VE FUCKING HAD ENOUGH. SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE. and you wonder why I'm always on the phone?... ohh dear, I wonder? WELL I obviously can't talk to you, my dad is always working and my sisters are busy with work and school. so the people I CAN talk to are my friends. AND WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HAVING GUY FRIENDS? HUH. freaking telling me imma flirt, I CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH A GUY WITHOUT YOU THINKING THERE'S SOMETHING BETWEEN US? there IS something there.... you know it's called FRIENDship, it's popular these days. even IF... there was something more, uhh? Is that bad? liking the opposite gender? did you honestly developpe an interest in guys at 25?! ARE YOU SERIOUS? like what the blood, you react like I'm having sex with the guy... CHILL! we are just talking. I want to make you yell? huh... YOU MAKE ME WANT TO RUN AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!!!

I honestly tried, to put a stop to this. Stop the yelling. I'M TRYING, why can't you? I fcuking hate, that I wish I wasn't your daughter.I hate that when I tell others my problems, they see you as this monster when I know your not,... but this is what YOU do. Can't blame me anymore. I changed already. I'm done trying to make us one big happy family...cause honestly, WE AREN'T. I've tried for the last 6 years and no progress, it just got worse and worse. I'm not saying I'm giving up on hope, I still hope we can be a happy family... I'm done trying to bring us all together, cause all your doing is pulling further and further apart and I handle it anymore.



second family; I really need you right now.

friends;

to do;

speak

go back;